We do so much for our children…everyday, all day sometimes. But sometimes the joy in doing things for them and adding special touches gets lost in the daily tasks.
All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mommy. I am blessed that my dreams were fulfilled…especially when we were told we would never have children.
That makes you look at things with a little different perspective. I was thankful for all the little things I was able to do for my children. But sleepless nights, sickness, etc…can make it much harder to maintain that joy.
I was blessed with a Mom that would always add little touches and she still does little things to show her family how special we are. Our clothes would be warming in front of the fire on cold school days. A big pot of hot chocolate and fresh chocolate chip cookies for when we came in from playing on cold winter days. PB & J sandwiches and snacks by the pool. Sweet notes in our lunch boxes and in our rooms. Always a special snack and time to talk after school. It is the little things kids remember.
I have always tried to add little touches to our home…fresh flowers on the table, notes tucked around the house. picnics in the yard, picnics in the house on rainy days, holiday shaped pancakes or pancakes made in the shape of their name, streamers and balloons on birthdays, etc…
But somehow during the trial we experienced last year with extended family and my extreme sickness with kidney stones, brought me down to the “doing only the necessities” to survive. That was all I could manage. I had let others steal my joy, paralyze me with fear, and ended up sitting in a chair for months with severe pain from kidney stones.
Life was not fun. I was not seeing the joy in everyday life with my family. Everyday was a burden and I dreaded getting out of bed for what new drama might appear on the horizon.
My “mommying” kind of went into a shell to protect my broken heart and I didn’t do much of the “special” any more…and my husband and boys noticed, but understood. Thankfully, I have broken out of my shell and I am returning to what I love….making my family feel loved and cherished. I want them to know how precious they are to me and that I do not take our time for granted. Every day is a gift from God. Embrace it, treasure it, laugh with each other, have fun…we never know when that opportunity will be gone.
We all go through seasons where life is just survival…new baby, sickness, moving, trials, etc… But it is during those seasons that our children need to know that our love hasn’t changed, the fact that we cherish them hasn’t changed. Little things let them know that it will all be okay and they are loved.
What little things can you do during those hard times?
- Write them a little note telling them they are special and you love them.
- Bake cookies for them~ it is amazing what fresh cookies can do. Who cares if they are just break and bake? The message is more important and it is quick.
- Put fresh flowers on the table~look in your backyard and find a pretty flower and put it on the table…brightens the room immediately.
- Light a candle~this always makes a home feel cozy. Edith Schaeffer said, “Somebody has to stay up late, get up early, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.” Someone has to stay up late and do the little things that make a family feel loved and cared for.
- Have a family night~it is amazing when life turns upside down how easy it is to let a routine or tradition slip away. When times are tough,. you need that time together.
- Try to have some one on one time~ when emotions are running high, time is short…the kids notice. Try to take some time to be together…just you two. Go for a walk, get some ice cream, color together. If you can. take them for a meal and talk to them…not others, not on your phone and not checking emails and facebook. Be with them. This will fill their love tank faster than you can imagine.
- Laugh~ seriously…when laughing is the last thing you want to do, you usually need it the most. Laughter is good for the soul. Watch a funny movie, look up Tim Hawkins on You Tube~there is plenty of clean comedy out there. Have a tickle party, tell jokes. Just laugh. A friend told me this during our mess and I couldn’t remember the last time I hardly cracked a smile, let alone laugh. She sent me a list of funny Tim Hawkins videos on You Tube and I laughed and laughed…and felt better.
- Do something for others~ when we become so overwhelmed in our circumstances. we often forget to serve others. Serving others helps us get our minds off of our situation and helps us refresh. Take a meal to someone ~even if it is carry out~{I did this a few times and had to get over the fact that I wasn’t able to cook the meals I normally do to take to others. The act of taking them a meal was still a blessing to them and they knew my situation at the time.} This was more for when my emotions were raw, not when I was physically unable to do much for my own family.
- Let your children serve you~ is this hard for you? Our mommy nature is to love. protect, and serve. But. we are raising men and women who will need to serve others. We want to raise children to be loving, caring, and have a servant heart. Not to raise little ones who are always asking “what can you do for me?” So, by our letting them serve us, we are training them to serve others and also letting them see that we need them. Of course, this depends on the age, but even the younger children can bring you a diaper when you are changing the baby. My sons were precious in how they helped with the house, brought me food and snacks, wrote me notes, covered me with a blanket, asked me what they could do for me. This is something we need to model for our children from the time they are young, so when the opportunity comes to serve, it will be second nature to them. Train them in this, pray for a servant’s heart, a giving heart. Let them serve you, especially in time of need, and they will feel a special part of the family.
- Try to have a routine as much as possible~ Children need routine. Even if your normal routine changes, they need normalcy.
Your turn: How do you maintain a sense of routine during rough times or how do you show your family that you love them?
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