We do so much for our family…everyday, all day sometimes. It’s a privilege and an honor. But it can be overwhelming and exhausting. And sometimes the joy in doing things for them and adding special touches gets lost in the daily tasks.
All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mommy. I am blessed that my dreams were fulfilled…especially when we were told we would never have children.
That makes you look at things with a little different perspective. I was thankful for all the little things I was able to do for my children. But sleepless nights, sickness, etc…can make it much harder to maintain that joy. And sometimes resentment creeps in because you just want a little quiet time and for people to do things for you and recognize what you are doing. We are human and have all kinds of emotions.
I was blessed with a Mom that would always add little touches and she still does little things to show her family how special we are. Our clothes would be warming in front of the fire on cold school mornings. A big pot of hot chocolate and fresh chocolate chip cookies for when we came in from playing on cold winter days. PB & J sandwiches and snacks by the pool. Sweet notes in our lunch boxes and in our rooms. Always a special snack and time to talk after school.
It is the little things kids remember. It’s the little things that matter to your family.
I have always tried to add little touches to our home…fresh flowers on the table, notes tucked around the house. picnics in the yard, picnics in the house on rainy days, holiday shaped pancakes or pancakes made in the shape of their name, streamers and balloons on birthdays, etc… And just having fun…spontaneous camp outs in the den, tic tac toe games, dates…lots of memories.
I want to be a memory builder.
No matter how much we enjoy loving and serving our family, we get weary and overwhelmed. Sometimes life throws us curveballs and we lose our way. Sometimes we are just plain worn out. Life happens, we face hardships and health issues and many times we just are in survival mode trying to put one foot in front of the other. And that’s okay. Our Heavenly Father sees where we are and knows are hearts. He will give us the strength to keep on keeping on. We have to lean in hard and give it all to Him.
Sometimes our “mommying” heart gets overloaded and weary and we go into a shell. I went into a shell after our family experienced a deep trial. I didn’t do much of the “special” any more…my goodness I was just trying to survive the trial we were going through and make sure everyone was eating and had clean clothes. It’s a season. Thankfully, I have broken out of my shell and I am returning to what I love….loving my family and helping them learn the heart of serving. I want them to know how precious they are to me and that I do not take our time for granted.
Every day is a gift from God. Embrace it, treasure it, laugh with each other. We never know how long we have this gift of one another.
We all go through seasons and live in different experiences. We never know what someone is going through. Oftentimes, life is just survival…new baby, sickness, moving, trials, etc… But it is during those seasons that our children need to know that our love hasn’t changed and they have a sense of stability and the fact that we cherish them hasn’t changed. Little things let them know that it will all be okay and they are loved. And they will be learning about real life, changing of seasons and loving and being flexible and stepping up and doing for others.
What little things can you do during those hard times?
- Write them a little note telling them they are special and you love them.
- Bake cookies for them~ it is amazing what fresh cookies can do. Who cares if they are just break and bake? The message is more important and it is quick.
- Put fresh flowers on the table~look in your backyard and find a pretty flower or cutting from a pretty tree and put it on the table…brightens the room immediately.
- Light a candle~this always makes a home feel cozy.
Edith Schaeffer said, “Somebody has to stay up late, get up early, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.” Someone has to stay up late and do the little things that make a family feel loved and cared for. We keep the family running. And as children get older, they can be part of that loving and nurturing too. And we pray it is something that will grow deep in their hearts and they will carry that on throughout their lives. Loving and serving others.
- Have a family night~it is amazing when life turns upside down how easy it is to let a routine or tradition slip away. When times are tough,. you need that time together. Watch a movie, snuggle on the couch, pop some popcorn, play a game, have a family campout in the den, lay out under the stars. So many free things we can do as a family to bond and heal our hearts.
- Try to have some one on one time~ when emotions are running high…the kids notice. We all notice, don’t we? Try to take some time to be together…just you two. Go for a walk, get some ice cream, color together. If you can…take them for a meal and talk to them…not others, put the phone down and focus on them. Technology is great but our phones seem to be an extension of our hands and it takes being intentional to look our people in the eye and soak up what they are saying. Be with them. This will fill their love tank faster than you can imagine.
- Laugh~ seriously…when laughing is the last thing you want to do, you usually need it the most. Laughter is good for the soul. Watch a funny movie, look up Tim Hawkins on You Tube~there is plenty of clean comedy out there. Have a tickle party, tell jokes. Just laugh. A friend told me I needed to laugh more during a hardship we were experiencing and I couldn’t remember the last time I hardly cracked a smile, let alone laugh. She sent me a list of funny Tim Hawkins videos on You Tube and I laughed and laughed…and felt better.
- Do something for others~ when we become so overwhelmed in our circumstances, we often forget to serve others. Serving others helps us get our minds off of our situation and helps us refresh. Take a meal to someone ~even if it is carry out~{I did this a few times and had to get over the fact that I wasn’t able to cook the meals I normally do to take to others. The act of taking them a meal was still a blessing to them and they knew my situation at the time.} This was more for when my emotions were raw, not when I was physically unable to do much for my own family.
- Let your children serve you~ is this hard for you? Our mommy nature is to love. protect, and serve. But. we are raising men and women who will need to serve others. We want to raise children to be loving, caring, and have a servant heart. Not to raise little ones who are always asking “what can you do for me?” So, by our letting them serve us, we are training them to serve others and also letting them see that we need them. Of course, this depends on the age, but even the younger children can bring you a diaper when you are changing the baby. My sons were precious in how they helped with the house, brought me food and snacks, wrote me notes, covered me with a blanket, asked me what they could do for me. This is something we need to model for our children from the time they are young, so when the opportunity comes to serve, it will be second nature to them. Train them in this, pray for a servant’s heart, a giving heart. Let them serve you, especially in time of need, and they will feel a special part of the family.
- Try to have a routine as much as possible~ Children need routine. Even if your normal routine changes, they need normalcy. We all seem to function better with that, don’t we?
Make the most of everyday! Make memories. Life is short and time passes quickly. Take advantage of every day.
Your turn: How do you maintain a sense of routine during rough times or how do you show your family that you love them?
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